Strong Will

Today's Quote:
The difference between perseverance and obstinacy is that one

often comes from a strong will, and the other from a strong won't.

-Henry Ward Beecher

Strong willed people have often enjoyed the reputation of being either very independent and persistent or obstinate. There is not much in between. What determines the difference is attitude. That’s why I like this quote. Attitude determines much of our lives. Our attitude determines how we face triumphs and tragedies. It determines how others perceive us. It determines our ability to be taught and learn. My daughter had experience with this very thing in high school.

Charolett had dreamed of being on the high school drill team for many years. She had previously been involved with a local competition dance team for 8 years and loves to be on the stage. When it came time to try out for drill team however, she felt humbled. I knew my daughter was a good dancer – not just because she is my daughter and I am prejudice, but because I have watched her form as she does the various moves required of her. Charolett came home from her fist day of tryouts with a great attitude and a nice perspective on her competition. There were only 4 spots open and she was one of 50 girls vying for the team. When I asked her about her chances, she said “I know I am good, but there are several girls that are just as good or even better.” She then told me which girls she felt like were truly in competition for the open spots. As she named each one, she told me about their dance background and their other strengths. She never once put down one of the other girls. At the end of three days of hard tryouts with early morning and evening practices, she had won a spot on the team. When she told me the names of the other girls that had also been chosen, none of them were the ones that she had mentioned as being competition to her on the first day. I asked her about this. She said that she was surprised as well, because she had messed up on her solo during call-backs, but had been called back a second time to redo her audition. She thought she had blown it and the other girls were so pleased with themselves. It turns out – her attitude was the determining factor. Many of the girls either got flustered with themselves and gave up or were ‘snotty’ towards others during tryouts. Unbeknownst to them however, more than dance ability was on trial for this team. The coach wanted girls to represent the school well in attitude as well as ability. I talked to one of the other mothers about what had transpired and she told me that the team had problems with ‘prima-donnas’ in years past and the coach was determined to watch more than just ability in this year’s tryouts. This made me even more proud of my daughter making the team than ever. Being the mother of a popular young drill team member is nice, but being the mother of a daughter that others recognize as having a good attitude and being a hard worker is really special. My daughter danced for the drill team for her entire high school career and loved it.

Our children all have different attitudes when they enter a trying situation. Sometimes their attitude is just a fake for the first little while to try to test the waters. Sometimes they genuinely give an honest try. One thing that is consistent however is that the children with the best attitudes progress faster than the children with the poor or half hearted attitudes. If only every child could step out of body for a while and see what they are doing to themselves, many would change the way they approach life at an earlier age. When a child makes a genuine decision to change himself, attitude is the first thing that changes. The moral is – being one of those strong willed people is good and it is fine to be seen as independent or persistent. But it is best to be seen as having those qulities in a pursuit of a worthwhile goal rather than being seen as stubborn and obstinate becuase of our poor attitude.