Today's Quote
Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of traveling.
-Margaret Lee Runbeck -
It has been said that the foolish man seeks happiness in the distance while the wise man grows it under his feet. No matter where we go in our life’s journey, we can be happy. In our pursuit of happiness, our situation matters not. The only thing that matters is our attitude. I have heard people say silly things like – ‘I’d be so happy if only I could have that car.’ Or ‘If I got that raise, it would make all the difference in my attitude.’ What they're really saying is – I have chosen to base my attitude on an outside stimulus rather than accept responsibility for my own happiness.’
Of course I realize that many of you have probably heard this already elsewhere in you life’s journey, but it bears repeating. Learning to be happy in whatever your situation may be is not an easy task. Many of the problems people suffer from are linked to a sense that personal well-being is connected to an external stimulus. Some people even seem to think that they have no control over how they should react to a situation. This is one of the first hurdles that anyone must overcome in order to start the process of emotional healing. A man can be happy with whatever life has laid before him – if he chooses to be.
When I was little, I had a poster on my bedroom wall that read, “Happiness is wanting what you have, not having what you want.” I decided at a young age to internalize that thought. I came from a lower middle class home. We had plenty of what we needed, but not a lot of extras. My parents lived frugally and within their means. They did not even have credit cards. They saved and paid cash for everything, including their cars. On the other hand, I had friends that seemed very well to do. They had all the latest toys, the most fashionable clothes and their own rooms. I had to share a room and a double bed with my sister until I was 19 and moved out on my own. I thought that my friends had everything that they could possibly need to be happy, but as I got older, I realized that some of my seemingly wealthy friends were not happy at all. It seemed the more they had, the more they wanted. They were constantly whining. I was only ten years old when this observation hit me and it shaped my personality from that point on. I decided that these friends were not the type of people that I wanted to be. I did not know why they were the way they were. To my ten-year old mind, they were just ‘spoiled brats’ as my mother called them. Now that I am older, I know a lot of adult spoiled brats, only now I know that being ‘spoiled’ is not really the problem. The problem is that they have not been taught the proper way to make their own happiness. They have relied on external stimulus so long that they have become very dysfunctional adults. I find this so sad. There is so much in life to be thankful for. It seems to me that the people with the most to be thankful for are usually the ones that whine the most about their situation. So with that in mind, here is the number one thing that I have endeavored to teach my own children to help them learn to be happy – GRATITUDE in all things.
It is impossible to be unhappy when you are expressing genuine gratitude. How can you be anything but happy when you are expressing thankfulness for the blessings you have been given in llife. Please notice that I did not say when you are grateful for the things you have been given. I used the word 'blessings' because it is not things that make us happy. The scent of honeysuckle in bloom, the warmth of the sunshine on a crisp fall afternoon, the light rain shower on a hot summer day are but a few of the blessings that help make me happy and I own none of these as tangible things. Happiness is contagious. Your attitude will help determine the course of your life’s journey, but it will also influence the course of others that cross your path. If you are thankful for, and want what you have, and if you concentrate on the blessings of life instead of the things you do not yet have, you will be the kind of person that others want to be around. You will find that you have more and more to be thankful for and your attitude will be better and better as you infect others. Gratitude and happiness work hand in hand that way. It is a wonderful cycle. May you all take a moment after reading this to think of the blessings in your life for which you are grateful. Pause to count your blessings with a loved one tonight – or make it part of your family dinner ritual. I know you will find happiness in your life’s journey as you do this simple exercise.
Of course I realize that many of you have probably heard this already elsewhere in you life’s journey, but it bears repeating. Learning to be happy in whatever your situation may be is not an easy task. Many of the problems people suffer from are linked to a sense that personal well-being is connected to an external stimulus. Some people even seem to think that they have no control over how they should react to a situation. This is one of the first hurdles that anyone must overcome in order to start the process of emotional healing. A man can be happy with whatever life has laid before him – if he chooses to be.
When I was little, I had a poster on my bedroom wall that read, “Happiness is wanting what you have, not having what you want.” I decided at a young age to internalize that thought. I came from a lower middle class home. We had plenty of what we needed, but not a lot of extras. My parents lived frugally and within their means. They did not even have credit cards. They saved and paid cash for everything, including their cars. On the other hand, I had friends that seemed very well to do. They had all the latest toys, the most fashionable clothes and their own rooms. I had to share a room and a double bed with my sister until I was 19 and moved out on my own. I thought that my friends had everything that they could possibly need to be happy, but as I got older, I realized that some of my seemingly wealthy friends were not happy at all. It seemed the more they had, the more they wanted. They were constantly whining. I was only ten years old when this observation hit me and it shaped my personality from that point on. I decided that these friends were not the type of people that I wanted to be. I did not know why they were the way they were. To my ten-year old mind, they were just ‘spoiled brats’ as my mother called them. Now that I am older, I know a lot of adult spoiled brats, only now I know that being ‘spoiled’ is not really the problem. The problem is that they have not been taught the proper way to make their own happiness. They have relied on external stimulus so long that they have become very dysfunctional adults. I find this so sad. There is so much in life to be thankful for. It seems to me that the people with the most to be thankful for are usually the ones that whine the most about their situation. So with that in mind, here is the number one thing that I have endeavored to teach my own children to help them learn to be happy – GRATITUDE in all things.
It is impossible to be unhappy when you are expressing genuine gratitude. How can you be anything but happy when you are expressing thankfulness for the blessings you have been given in llife. Please notice that I did not say when you are grateful for the things you have been given. I used the word 'blessings' because it is not things that make us happy. The scent of honeysuckle in bloom, the warmth of the sunshine on a crisp fall afternoon, the light rain shower on a hot summer day are but a few of the blessings that help make me happy and I own none of these as tangible things. Happiness is contagious. Your attitude will help determine the course of your life’s journey, but it will also influence the course of others that cross your path. If you are thankful for, and want what you have, and if you concentrate on the blessings of life instead of the things you do not yet have, you will be the kind of person that others want to be around. You will find that you have more and more to be thankful for and your attitude will be better and better as you infect others. Gratitude and happiness work hand in hand that way. It is a wonderful cycle. May you all take a moment after reading this to think of the blessings in your life for which you are grateful. Pause to count your blessings with a loved one tonight – or make it part of your family dinner ritual. I know you will find happiness in your life’s journey as you do this simple exercise.
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